Something happened when I finished high school that had everyone in my family stop taking sugar in their tea. My late dad was diagnosed with diabetes. He came home with the instruction from the doctor to eat boiled meals, snack on salted biscuits and reduce his sugar intake. My mom decided to do what she could to provide a supportive system. She ensured that he had his boiled meals, the children were warned not to get into the biscuit pack, and she stopped taking sugar. Once my siblings and I realized that she had stopped taking sugar in tea, we dared each other to do the same. We would all stop taking sugar in tea and to make it more fun we would compete to find out who would be the last one to do so.
Looking back my mum had gradually reduced the amount of sugar she would put in her tea. She weaned herself off it and we thought that that was the way to stop taking sugar. All five of us kids got on board on the dare. In a couple of weeks, all of us except for one had stopped taking sugar. My mum had not asked us to do so. All she had done was to model a life choice that her children’s competitive nature adopted. To date, none of the four who succeeded takes sugar in their tea. My kids have also grown up not taking sugar in their tea. Yes, even in black tea.
What my mum did not know when she made the choice to support her husband was that she had started to model a new way of life for everyone around her. She had no idea that her kids were watching. She had no idea that her kids would learn from her example on the process of cutting down sugar intake. She had no idea that she had changed one generational pattern and set another pattern in motion. She never told any of us to stop putting sugar in our tea. She never stopped buying sugar. All she did was live a life that showed her not taking sugar and we just picked it up.
These postcards are not for every parent.
I have received several requests for purchase of these postcards for which I am grateful. I appreciate the support. However, I realize that these postcards and not for every parent or every home. Do not get me wrong. I would love to have every Christian home in the world have a pack of these. The message on each of these cards is powerful. The impact of the words on the heart is disruptive, I should know for I found myself on my knees in tears as I was working on them. However, I am painfully aware, that they will not work if no supporting structure exists to guide their use.
The Bible has a verse that says
‘Start children off on the way they should go,
and even when they are old they will not turn from it. ‘
Proverbs 22:6 (NIV)
Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6 (NKJV)
Concentrate on the first words of the proverb. Start (NIV) and Train(NKJV). Both words imply an action needs to be taken. We can start our children off by pointing them into a certain direction. We can sit in our chairs and tell them by our words what they should do, evaluate them on what they are doing and how well they are doing it. We can choose to start them off and encourage or motivate them in this way while nothing changes in our own lives. After all, they are the ones who need Jesus.
I believe that the word start that this verse in the Bible requires of us is an active start, a supportive start and a start that models the action. A training. The Online Oxford dictionary defines the term train as to teach (a person or animal) a particular skill or type of behaviour through practice and instruction over a period of time. This is what the verse refers to. Training requires a schedule, a time table and keeping to this schedule i.e. discipline. Training of behaviour requires modelling the behaviour so that the trainee can not only hear but see the instruction and practice it. Training requires repetition so that what is taught becomes a habit. Training requires understanding that the required new behaviour may take a long time to instil. To be able to do all this, the culture in the home must be able to support this. It means that the parent or care giver needs to model the behaviour and habits of study that they want the kids to develop and be ready to create time for it.
These postcards are not for every parent.
When I turned thirteen, my mother brought home a book from the office library. Its title read, Everything a teenage girl should know by John Knight. I loved reading books and she probably figured that I would read this one and find out everything a teenage girl should know. I never did and probably that is why to date I do not know everything a teenage girl should know. Maybe borrowing the book and giving it to me helped her fulfill something that she could not bring herself to do. Maybe she thought she did not know everything a teenage girl should know but this book professed to do so and would tell me. She had seen that I loved reading and would read this one too. What she did not realize was that if I had not selected the book, it was highly unlikely that I would read it.
I have done similar things with my kids. I have bought books that went unread. Fruit and vegetables that went uneaten. Games that were not played. I am the first to confess that if you purchase these postcards and just give them to your kids without involving yourself in their use, I can guarantee that they will not have the impact that they are designed to have. The cards, by themselves, will not make believers of our children.
These postcards are not for every parent.
These postcards are for the parent who is willing to model reading and applying the cards alongside their child. The postcards are for the parent who is ready to re-read bible verses that they know. They for the parent who is ready to be disappointed by the lack of interest that will be shown by their kids and keep being seen to read them, study them and using them to pray. They are for the parent who is willing to share their experiences and the parent who is willing to say I do not know. They are for the parent who knows that the cards are to be used to ignite family conversations over the 52-week journey. These cards are for the parent who is ready to disrupt their lifestyle.
The journey will not be easy. However, I would like to provide a supportive system for every parent or caregiver who is willing to give this a try. Let us walk together. Let us learn from each other. Let us give this a try.